


A Good Place to Start

by LilyMJFae



Series: Defecting [2]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Emotional, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Repairing Relationships, Sisters, resent, these two have a lot to talk about okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24281221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyMJFae/pseuds/LilyMJFae
Summary: Since defecting, Queenie has slowly begun to rebuild her life and relationships. But tensions are still high between her and her sister. She's decided she wants to fix it and talk about their issues.
Relationships: Queenie Goldstein & Tina Goldstein
Series: Defecting [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1752808
Kudos: 7





	A Good Place to Start

**Author's Note:**

> First fic in a long time. This is obviously post COG and more than likely canon divergent. But at this rate we probably won't have answers for a full year or more. Anyway. I've thought long and hard about various things that apply to tina and queenie and everything. And there a lot of headcanons involved here, including the fact that Queenie's powers will only grow with Grindelwald. There a lot of headcanons about feelings and the like. I have put a lot of thought into these things. I hope that you all enjoy.

Queenie was sitting in the living room of the house she had known so long ago. And that she had occupied for a few months after everything. Now that she was on her own, she’d taken some much-needed space back to herself. Things had been strained between her and Tina, and though it had been in part because of the choices Queenie had made, she would have been lying if she said it’s also been her own resentment towards Tina.

So, she was there, in her sister’s living room, waiting for her sister so they could have a much-needed discussion. If Queenie wanted things to ever go back to them being close, the women needed to confront each other.

Tina came in, setting down a tray with the tea and two cups before pouring it. There was an unsettling silence between the two sisters. Tension thick enough to cut with a butter knife. Queenie gave a small thanks as she was handed a cup. Then Tina took her seat across the small coffee table and they stared at each other.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Tina spoke. “What brought on this visit?” she asked her sister. And it was that tone that Queenie wanted to make disappear.

“I thought we should talk,” she responded quietly.

“Well you aren’t doing a lot of that.”

Queenie sighed, biting her lip before she looked down. Then she returned her gaze to her sister’s. “I thought you should know, I…. I have always resented the way you treated my being a legilimens. Well, I resented anyone that treated me that way if they knew. But you were my sister, and…you made me feel ashamed of it.”

Tina blinked at her. Confusion, then anger crossing her face. “You? You resent me? How would you feel having to learn a complex magic to block your own sister from your mind if you ever wanted to have a secret?”

Queenie was quiet, letting her sister go off. She understood. She hadn’t liked her secret being out. But she had not had a choice after everything.

“But you only told me to stop. And you looked up ways to block me out. Telling someone to stop something they don’t understand, doesn’t do anything. I needed help. And I couldn’t find the information I needed. You made me feel like I should be ashamed of something I had no control over. But used it when it was convenient to you. And I didn’t mind having this thing that we could both enjoy. But you made the rules and they changed a lot. And it hurt that you wanted to keep me out.”

She took a sip of her tea and set the cup down. “I learned a lot about my abilities, no matter how wrong my decision was. Good came of it. I _can_ control it now, instead of it controlling me and overwhelming me. I can actually turn it off. Well….I could. All I needed was some encouragement to use it and practice it.”

“How could I have known how to help you? We tried looking for books,” Tina countered. “It’s not like they’re readily available.” It was true enough. Getting their hands on any books on legilimency when they were younger and been unsuccessful. Perhaps because of the nature of the magic, and it being highly regulated. Though some people still managed to learn it.

“So instead you thought just trying to tell me to stop was going to fix it? Trying to force me to hide something that was a part of my very being?”

Tina did look a bit shamed at that.

Queenie sighed. “I just. I needed you to know. It doesn’t make much of a difference now. Not with my magic being bound. They’ve restricted it so much it takes effort to just scratch the surface.” It was strange, not having access to that vital piece of her. But all that time with Grindelwald, they’d truly unlocked the potential of her power. She’d been able to read even some of the most practiced occlumens, as they were unprepared for someone with the skill level she had, boosted by her natural born ability. She’d been able to influence people, move them to his side. She hadn’t done it often, only when she’d had to. At that point, it’d become about protecting her daughter.

“I know it’s not your fault, Teenie. I know neither of us knew what to do. Or where to look. Especially because we didn’t want to get anyone interested in me or using me for my abilities. But I still resented the way you acted about it. That you both tried to block me, but then used it for your convenience. You used it to scold me half the time when doing that.” It had been a confusing time, growing up and being told to stop and then being scolded. She’d remembered visiting Newt too. When he’d directed his thoughts at her and then told her not to read his mind…only to think directly at her immediately after. “I think we could have had more fun if you’d helped me. If we’d honed it together. Think of the mischief we could have caused.”

Tina frowned at her but nodded. Perhaps she understood to some extend what Queenie was talking about. And Queenie saw a smirk too, knowing her sister likely could imagine the trouble and fun they could have had together.

“But because we didn’t do that, it overwhelmed me. A lot. It overwhelmed me in Paris. And…. I’ll admit there were other things that led to me being left so vulnerable. But that is when Vinda found me. They used that to their advantage…”

And she saw more shame on her sister’s face. She didn’t want Tina to feel shame. But she did want her to understand why Queenie had resented that lack of control over her own ability.

“And I need you to know, I resented your strong compassion towards Credence. I know it’s stupid. But you’d risked everything once to save him and barely managed to keep a job. You’re lucky MACUSA even kept you on payroll, no matter the department,” she said. “Then after you’d gotten back the job you’d wanted so badly, you risked it all again. And you lied to me. I was devastated to learn you had lied to me.”

“I didn’t- “

“You did and you know it, Tina.”

Tina looked down. “We were fighting. And…I didn’t want you to talk me out of it. I thought you might, if you had that information, given what I had on you…and Jacob. And, I knew they would have stopped me. I thought you would too.”

“I would have. Perhaps in part because of spite. But also because I wouldn’t want you to lose everything again.”

Tina nodded.

“I want you to admit that you resent me too,” she said, again, her voice gone quiet. She didn’t want to hear it. But she needed to. “I know what I did was wrong. And I know it hurt you. But you’re not very good at pretending you’re happy I’m back. If we’re really going to be able to try and have a relationship again, you need to admit the truth.”

Tina set down her own cup and watched Queenie. “I don’t know if there are words for how I feel about you Queenie,” she said. “At first, I was just worried. I was scared. I wanted to bring you home and protect you from the consequences I knew would come of that decision you made to cross the flames.”

Queenie only nodded, showing she was listening. She kept her own face neutral. She’d been trying to prepare herself for hearing this.

“But the longer you were gone, the angrier I was. I saw the way Jacob pined for you. And after everything you’d done, all the laws you broke to be with him. The way you disregarded my advice. And when I learned you’d enchanted him. You’d crossed a line. And I was furious.”

There was a touch of surprise in Queenie at that admission. She hadn’t expected a response on Jacob’s behalf. Though the two of them were also slowly building their own relationship again. And he was getting time with his daughter.

“And I was furious because I’d sworn to take care of you. To teach you the things you should know. I promised ma and pa. And you’d made me realized I failed them. You made that decision and I knew they’d have been so horribly disappointed in you. And I knew they’d be disappointed in me for failing them.”

That hurt. It felt like a dagger to her chest, and she could hear the strain in her voice as she said softly, “They wouldn’t be disappointed in you. They couldn’t be.” She knew her parents would have been proud of Tina.

“Except that you did the worst possible thing. You joined a dark wizard. You helped him hurt people.”

Queenie couldn’t even deny that. She hadn’t done a lot of the damage that she knew happened. And she hadn’t even seen most of it. But she used her abilities for him. And she knew he used that information accordingly. And she’d influenced people. It was wrong.

“I spent that time having to prove myself again to MACUSA because of what you did,” Tina said firmly. And this was the first Queenie had heard of it. “They knew our relationship. They knew I practically raised you.”

“We raised each other,” Queenie retorted. They had. They’d each taken care of each other in different ways. Even if Tina was the older of the two.

“I was watched for so long. They were sure that you would contact me. They were sure I was going to feed you information. All my letters were watched. And as much as I wanted to hear from you, to know if you were alive or anything, I was thankful I never heard a word from you.”

That stung too. Queenie had wasted who knew how much parchment on letters written and never sent. The ones where she wanted to tell her sister that she’d wanted to come home immediately. She’d wanted to tell her that she was pregnant. She’d wanted to tell her everything. But she’d burned every letter. Wanting to protect herself and her daughter and protect Tina.

“I finally left. In part because I knew MACUSA would never trust me again. Though mostly because New York didn’t feel like home anymore, and things with Newt had developed.”

Queenie understood. She’d thought about returning to New York, but every time she did, she felt hollow. It didn’t feel like home anymore.

“Then…Then you showed up. I remember when they called me, telling me they had one of Grindelwald’s acolytes. And that she would speak only to me. I knew. I knew immediately who it was. And after all that time, you had the audacity to ask a favor of me.”

Queenie knew which favor she was talking about. Queenie had begged her, tears rolling her face for her to take her daughter. And of course, she knew Tina would. Tina wouldn’t leave a member of her family at the hands of the government to figure out what to do with.

“I couldn’t say no. Even if I’d wanted to. I couldn’t deny you that much. But you wanted me to take your statement. And I hated that you were using our blood. But I was the only one who wouldn’t have spat in your face. But you used me.”

Queenie gave another nod. She had, and she’d known it. In the end, she’d refused to tell anyone anything unless Tina was at the very least present. They hadn’t wanted to oblige. But she’d wanted it. There’d been that six-month stint in Azkaban as they tried to force her to tell. But in the end, a bargain was struck. There’d be minimal prison time, and her powers would be bound nearly completely. She’d only be able to perform the simplest of magic and she’d need her wand to do anything at all. It’d even managed to restrict her natural born powers of legilimency. She hadn’t complained though. In fact, she rather liked the peace of nothing in her mind but her own thoughts. And of course, she’d handed her wand over to Jacob. It had been her way of apologizing to him for enchanting him. And to let him know she’d never use magic on him again. Not without his permission. Over the last year, he’d tried many times to give it back to her, but she’d refused.

“I’m sorry, Tina,” she offered quietly. “I know I shouldn’t have taken advantage of that. All I can say is that I was scared. And I wanted nothing more than to protect my child. And…I wanted to avoid being separated from her if I could. I didn’t…I didn’t want her growing up without me after we lost our parents.” She’d not wanted to lose that. “But I knew no matter what she’d be safe with you.”

“The favors didn’t stop though Queenie. You asked us to hide her from Jacob. Do you have any idea the strain that put on the friendship between him and Newt and him and I?”

Queenie’s cheeks blushed in shame.

“Then you had nowhere else to go and the ministry was requiring you live somewhere supervised, so we let you stay in our home. It was so difficult being so close to you when I just wanted space to be with my feelings.”

That had all been true. One of the stipulations not only of her final and official release from Azkaban and her reunion with her daughter had been that she would have to provide an address. She didn’t have that, and she didn’t even really have the funds for her own yet. But they were happy to release her to Tina and Newt’s home. Things had been awkward, and Queenie did everything within her power to help with the cooking and cleaning around the house so she wouldn’t be seen as a burden. But getting a job proved difficult. No one wanted to hire her for her criminal past. And she couldn’t blame them. But in the end, Jacob had been willing to give her a job. And while technically it was in the no-maj world, and she had to frequently get the money converted, she’d been able to afford a tiny little flat with just enough room for her and her daughter. And she had a chance to build that relationship slowly with Jacob again too.

“I do want to repay you for that, Tina. I do. For everything,” Queenie spoke. “And I want us to be able to…well be more than what we have been since I got back. I don’t know how I ever could. But I wanted us to talk. Because I think we both miss being close. So, neither of us wanted to speak and say the wrong thing.” Queenie’s eyes stung with tears and she knew. And Tina’s eyes looked just as watery. “Unless I’m wrong.”

Tina was silent again for a long moment, staring at Queenie. Then she released her breath and sagged a bit. “Of course, I want us to be able to rebuild our relationship, Queen. But….” She shook her head, clearly trying to find the words. “I don’t know if things can ever go back to how they were.”

“I don’t expect them to,” Queenie assured. “We’re different people. And this would be a different relationship. Maybe one that’s more open and honest.” The girls had held plenty of secrets from each other. And lied to each other. Now they were different people, who had learned from those choices.

“It’s not that simple Queenie. We don’t just get to talk and apologize and have everything be okay.”

“I _know_ that.” Queenie hadn’t meant for quite the bite that had come across in her tone. But she wasn’t naïve like she’d once been. “But it’s a chance to lay our cards on the table. Wipe the slate clean, and just start fresh. Start at the beginning.”

Tina crossed her arms, watching her sister. This was a different woman before her than she’d once known. A different person almost entirely.

Queenie made to stand. She reached for her coat. “Just…I wanted to try,” she said, thinking her sister was surely going to continue to fight this. “I had to try. Because you were always the most important person in the world to me. You were the only family I had.”

She turned around to see that Tina had stood and approached her, and she blinked at her sister, the movement causing some of those tears to fall. Tina grabbed Queenie’s arm and pulled her in, hugging her close and tight. And for a moment, shock was the only thing hold Queenie back from returning the hug. But she dropped the coat and wrapped her arms around her sister in return, the tears finally falling from her face. Both sisters cried against each other, while supporting each other. They had a long way to go. There was still a lot to earn and fix. But this was a start. A good place to start.


End file.
